Capt. Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), Blackbeard (Ian McShane, at his best), Blackbeard's daughter Angelica (Penelope Cruz), Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) and the Spaniards all show up at The Fountain of Youth at the same time. (Nothing else up to this point in the movie really mattered, although the movie is fun.)
Barbossa mortally wounds Blackbeard, while the Spaniards destroy the Fountain. Angelica wounds herself on Barbossa's poisoned sword attempting to aid her father. The mermaid, Syrena (Astrid-Berges-Frisbey) recovers the two chalices for Jack after taking the dying Philip Swift (Sam Claflin) with her into the depths of the ocean.
Jack manages to capture the last drops from the Fountain in the two chalices. He places the Mermaid's tear in one of them and offers Blackbeard the opportunity to drink from the chalice without the tear. If Angelica drinks from the chalice with the tear in it, Blackbeard will die, but his life force will save Angelica. Blackbeard grabs the chalice with the tear and drinks it while Angelica drinks from the other chalice.
But Jack lied to Blackbeard about which chalice had the Mermaid's tear in it! Blackbeard disintegrates in a whirlwind while Angelica is saved. Jack maroons Angelica on an island while Gibbs (Kevin McNally) robs all of the ships trapped in the bottles from the Queen Anne's Revenge before Barbossa sails away with it. Jack tells Gibbs that he did not want to drink from the Fountain of Youth because not knowing when you will die makes you appreciate life more.
After the end credits, the voodo doll of Jack that Blackbeard made washes up at Angelica's feet while she sits on the island shore.
Thanks Evil Ed!