Screwball Hotel
(Screwballs III)
(1988)

SHORT VERSION:
After Mr. Stomer catches Mike, Herbie, Norman, and Candy getting the contestants of the Miss Purity Pageant into an oil wrestling match in their illegal casino (which they were doing in an attempt to raise some of the $300,000 that Mr. Ebbel needs to keep the hotel), he fires them all and tells Ebbel that he is taking charge of the hotel until Mr. Spaulding buys it in a few days. The quartet decide to get even with Stomer by ruining the pageant.

They enact their plan by surreptitiously exposing the contestants to an aphrodisiac narcotic that Stomer originally had in his possession that he was intending to sell to a couple of mafia men, and they also patch themselves into the cameras of the TV stations broadcasting the pageant, intending to control them directly from Stomer’s private security camera room. The pageant degenerates into a nutty and erotic show, leaving Stomer incredibly embarrassed, and all the while, the four have the cameras broadcast and record every moment of it.

A day or two later, Ebbel prepares to sign over the hotel to Spaulding with Stomer overseeing the transfer. Before he can, though, the quartet show up with a $300,000 check for him, which they acquired after having sold the video cassette rights and foreign distribution on the pageant. They then tell Stomer and Spaulding that they have videotapes from the private security room in their possession showing Stomer engaging in illegal activities on the premises as well as ones of the both of them conspiring to take over the hotel together, leaving Spaulding no choice but to accept the check and let Ebbel remain owner. The boys continue to work at the hotel, Herbie and Candy become a couple, and Stomer ends up relegated to being the hotel’s shoe-shiner.

LONG VERSION:
One night, Mike (Michael Bendetti), Herbie (Andrew Zeller), Norman (Jeff Greenman), and Candy (Lori Deann Pallett) get the contestants of the Miss Purity Pageant into an oil wrestling match in their illegal casino in an attempt to raise some of the $300,000 that Mr. Ebbel (Kelly Monteith) needs to keep the hotel. However, Mr. Stomer (Charles Ballinger) catches them in the act and learns of the casino’s existence in the process. He tells Ebbel that he is taking charge of the hotel until Mr. Spaulding (Jack L. Dillard) takes control of it in a few days, and after taking the money made from the match, he fires the quartet.

As the quad are leaving the hotel, they wonder how they can get back at Stomer and the pageant contestants. After Candy mentions how the pageant will be broadcast live on TV, Mike comes up with an idea. Meanwhile, as a form of restitution for losing a lot of the aphrodisiac narcotic he was supposed to give them a couple of nights before (courtesy of the quartet unwittingly using it to make a dessert one evening for the guests, believing that it was sugar), Stomer gives the mafia men the money that he earlier confiscated. However, once he leaves them, they decide to call in a hitman called “The Cobra” to kill him.

The night of the pageant, Mike and Norman sneak into the kitchen and get out one remaining bag of the narcotic that Norman had stashed away, then go up into a room above the contestants’ dressing room, place the narcotic on a dish next to a mesh opening in the floor that goes down into the room, and place a fan next to that which – upon activation by remote control – will blow the substance in there and get the girls high and sexually excited. As they do that, Herbie and Candy go up to one of the TV trucks and slyly patch themselves into all of the cameras broadcasting the pageant, intending to control them from Stomer’s private security camera room. All four of them meet up in there just before show time.

After the opening number, Herbie activates the fan as the girls are preparing for the next event, and they all inhale the narcotic. From that moment forward, the pageant becomes nutty and erotic, culminating with the girls stripping and dancing after the winner is announced and leaving Stomer incredibly embarrassed. All the while, the quartet broadcast and record every moment of it. Then, the Cobra – who turns out to be a sweet old lady staying at the hotel – opens fire on Stomer with a machine gun, but she fails to kill him and just causes nothing but mayhem.

A day or two later, Spaulding meets with Ebbel and Stomer and gives Ebbel the paper he has to sign to fork over ownership of the hotel to him. Before Ebbel can put the ink on the paper, the quartet show up with a $300,000 check for him, having sold the video cassette rights and foreign distribution on the pageant, which they tell Stomer that they taped from his private room. When Stomer and Spaulding counter how that is illegal, as well as the casino they ran, and will inform the police about it all, they reply that they have also collected other tapes from the private room showing Stomer indiscriminately canceling entire convention reservations, defrauding the public out of their money from the pageant, having sex with pageant director Mrs. Perkins (Theresa Bell), buying drugs from criminals, and conspiring with Spaulding to take over the hotel. Knowing that he and Stomer have been painted into a corner, Spaulding has no choice but to accept the check and let Ebbel remain owner.

In the next scene, the trio of guys are about to go out on the town for some fun, and we find that Stomer has been relegated to being the hotel’s shoe-shiner. Candy is now dating Herbie, and Mike also has a gal of his own. The sexually aggressive Cherry (Corinne Alphen) comes up to Norman and tries to make advances on him again, but he runs off in fear, so she proceeds to make those same advances on an unwilling Stomer. As the boys are riding off in their limousine, they see it is being driven by Ebbel while he is playing another one of his sexual role-playing games with his secretary Miss Walsh (Laurah Guillen). The movie closes with the guys screaming in terror as Ebbel drives wildly.  

Thanks Tornado Dragon!