Water
(1985)

SHORT VERSION:
Through the efforts of Baxter, Pamela, and a musical performance by the Cascara Liberation Front at the United Nations that gets backed by several famous British musicians, Cascara gains independence from England. Baxter’s wife Dolores also leaves him for the British government representative Sir Malcolm, which pleases him much. However, as the CLF are performing, a group of mercenaries working for the French government – who want to ensure that their country remains number one for having the world’s finest mineral water – come to Cascara and destroy the underground well with explosives. They try to destroy the oil drill, too, but Baxter and Pamela prevent that.

Baxter spends the next week trying to get the drill to tap into another underground well, believing that more of the water could still be down in the earth, but his friends manage to convince him that it’s an exercise in futility. While worrying about his nation’s financial future afterwards, the drill suddenly strikes oil, solving those problems instantly.

LONG VERSION:
Tired of all of the intrusion from foreign powers that are trying to gain control of Cascara’s mineral water resource, Baxter (Michael Caine) – along with Pamela (Valerie Perrine) – decides to join forces with Delgado (Billy Connolly) and Garfield (Chris Tummings) of the Cascara Liberation Front, planning to find a way to make Cascara an independent nation so they will have control over the water and their own future.

They find the American news reporter Ken Warden (Charles Thomas Murphy), and at gunpoint, they force him and his crew to sneak them all into the Spenco drilling ground. Once in, they quickly reveal themselves to the workers, and the workers leave after they threaten to blow up the well with explosives they brought. Pamela calls up her father Richard (Fred Gwynne), the owner of Spenco, and tells him that she has control of his oil field, and she will blow it up if he doesn’t call up some of his friends in important places.

The American and British governments quickly get wind of what is happening in Cascara, so they send in their armies to try to put a stop to the uprising. However, they are unable to do anything because the people of Cascara have now posted themselves outside the fences surrounding the oil field to support the rebels, so they cannot attack without risking harming one of them. Meanwhile, the French government – wanting to ensure that their country remains number one for having the world’s finest mineral water – commissions a crew of mercenaries under the command of Kessler (Paul Heiney) to destroy the well.

Sir Malcolm (Leonard Rossiter) later stops by the oil field – along with Baxter’s wife Dolores (Brenda Vaccaro) – to talk to Baxter, and Baxter tells him in private that the American and British governments have to agree to let the CLF appear before the United Nations General Assembly so they can put forth a motion for Cascara’s independence. Thinking that they are talking about her and Malcolm and their sexual tryst, Dolores yells to Baxter from afar that she has slept with Malcolm and wants a divorce so she can marry him, which Baxter is more than happy to give her. Malcolm relays Baxter’s demands to the U.N., and they agree to them.

Delgado and Garfield are later picked up in a helicopter and brought to the U.N. building, and they appear before the Assembly and start performing a song called “Freedom” for them as their plea for autonomy. Initially, it doesn’t go over well, but that all changes when they are suddenly joined by several famous British musicians (such as George Harrison, Ringo Starr, and Eric Clapton), thanks to Pamela making some calls to friends of hers in the music industry. Their performance ends up getting a standing ovation.

During the performance, the mercenaries sneak onto the oil field, and some of them lay bombs along the cliffside while Kessler and another mercenary go onto the drill to lay two bombs to blow it up. Baxter and Pamela head out to defuse their own explosives on the drill, feeling that no one is going to fight them now, but Baxter is alerted to the presence of the mercenaries and confronts them. They get the better of him and run to escape the impending detonations, but after Baxter warns Pamela about the bombs, they grab them and throw them away from the drill, saving it from being destroyed. However, the other bombs on the cliff detonate successfully, blowing holes in it and causing all of the water from the underground well to drain out. Having accomplished their mission, the mercenaries leave.

The U.N. grants Cascara its independence, but they grant it to them largely because, with the water now gone, they now have nothing of value. Baxter spends a week trying to make the drill tap into another underground well, since he believed that more of the water could still be down in the earth, but Pamela and his friends and associates eventually help him understand that what he is doing is an exercise in futility. As they all walk away from the drill worrying about the country’s financial future, the drill suddenly strikes oil, solving those problems instantly.

Some time later, a ceremony is held for the raising of Cascara’s new flag, and Baxter hands the British flag over to Sir Malcolm. Malcolm leaves with Dolores, and Baxter, Pamela, and their friends party with the Cascarans.

Thanks Tornado Dragon!