(2003)

Submitted by Evan B

Referred to as The “Citizen Kane” of B-movies, the audience yells lines along with the film, throw spoons and footballs in the air at various points in the film, and otherwise revels during the entire run-time of this B-masterpiece. Definitely see this in theaters with an enthusiastic crowd. 

Pooper:
After having been betrayed by Lisa and Mark, Johnny commits suicide. Denny, Mark and Lisa cry over his body, with Mark blaming Lisa for everything.

Long Ending:
The movie begins with Johnny (director and producer, Tommy Wiseau) coming home to his girlfriend Lisa (Juliette Danielle) bearing gifts. Their young next-door neighbor, Denny (Philip Haldiman) stops by to visit. He asks if he can watch them have sex, and they laugh it off. Johnny and Lisa then go upstairs and engage in a very bizarre love-making scene.

Lisa is unsatisfied with her relationship and calls Johnny’s best friend Mark (Greg Sestero). She invites him over and seduces him. Lisa’s mother Claudette (Carolyn Minnott) meanwhile tells Lisa she should marry Johnny as he is stable and wealthy. Lisa claims instead that Johnny beats her. That night, Johnny comes home and Lisa convinces him to drink some alcohol despite the fact he does not drink in hopes that he will hit her while drunk. After sharing a mixture of vodka and whiskey (ew), the pair instead end up having sex again.

The next day, Denny is accosted by a thug while playing with a basketball on the roof of Johnny’s apartment building. The thug is interrupted by Mark and Johnny who literally escort him to jail. Denny confesses to Lisa and Claudette that he had bought drugs from the thug and they yell at him not to do so again. Lisa explains that Denny is essentially Johnny’s adopted son. Denny later confesses to Johnny that he is in love with Lisa, and Johnny laughs it off, saying Lisa loves Denny like a mother loves a son. Soon after, Johnny hears a rumer that he has been hitting Lisa and angrily denies it.

Lisa and Johnny’s relationship continues to deteriorate despite the fact that Lisa is now referred to as “Johnny’s future wife.” Mark and Lisa also continue their trysts. The guilt is making Mark unstable, to the point where he even almost throws another friend off of the roof of Johnny’s building when the friend accuses him of cheating with Lisa. Johnny then accidentally hears Lisa confess the affair to her mom and, combined with recent work troubles, begins to sink into a depression.

Lisa plans a surprise birthday party for Johnny. When everyone at the party goes outside for some fresh air, Lisa grabs Mark and they begin making out. The party walks in on the pair kissing and Johnny fights with Mark before throwing him out of the house. After the party, Lisa says she is leaving Johnny for Mark. Johnny reveals he recorded Lisa’s sexual phone calls with Mark. She doesn’t care and storms out.

Johnny rips apart his apartment, grabs a gun, and shoots himself in the head. Lisa and Mark walk in and see his dead body. Lisa says they can be together now and Mark angrily rebukes her, noting that Johnny was his best friend and he is dead solely due to Lisa’s actions. Denny suddenly runs in and pushes Mark away. The three cry over Johnny’s body until the credits roll.